What Language Immersion Taught Me About Self-Discovery
Lessons on community, genuine connections, and reinvention from 10 weeks in Japan and Hong Kong
I’ve always loved languages.
As a teenager, I took French, Spanish, Mandarin and Japanese classes.
I would spend hours memorizing vocabulary lists, conjugating verbs, and writing essays in different languages. For years, it was all about regurgitating the textbook and passing exams. This system still works, but it’s always been about more than just the words themselves.
So, I spent the past ten weeks between Japan, for a language course, and Hong Kong, to see friends and family. While I set off with the intention to improve my Japanese and reconnect with loved ones, I came away with so much more and felt a true connection to people I met there from all walks of life.
It was such a wholesome and soulful experience that it feels unfair to summarize it all on one page, but here are some of the unexpected lessons this journey sparked within me:
The Power of Shared Purpose: I’ve always been drawn to individual pursuits, but being surrounded by other language nerds with common goals, passions, and values was incredibly energizing. It reminded me that in an age increasingly dominated by AI and technology, the value of genuine connection is irreplaceable. Being around people who were equally obsessed with Japanese just fueled my motivation!
Forever Doesn’t Exist: Having moved around so much, I've really come to hate saying goodbye. Instead of clinging to the past, I'm learning to cherish every special person, however little time we may spend physically together, and be grateful for the memories we create. Nothing lasts forever and I’m (slowly) learning to let go of attachment to permanence.
Facing the Inner Critic: My biggest obstacle to speaking Japanese with locals wasn’t grammar or pronunciation, but my own self-doubt. This is something I think every language learner can relate to: the fear of sounding stupid and making mistakes. Being there, I had no choice but to speak Japanese to get around, and this experience forced me to confront these insecurities head-on. In between the successful moments where I got what I needed, there were also some painfully awkward ones. I once asked the train conductor how to buy a limited express ticket and he stared back at me with a blank face. I was so embarrassed that I nodded apologetically and simply walked away.
The Importance of Presence: Technology is incredible, but it can’t replicate the feeling of being truly present with people you care about. I realized how precious these moments are, whether they be a shared meal or a spontaneous conversation in the hallway, and how easily they slip away if we don’t actively cherish them. It’s easy to get lost in Duolingo streaks, but real-life interactions are what truly make language learning meaningful.
Wisdom from Others: The language school became a classroom for life. I met retirees who had navigated decades of change, offering invaluable insights:
Don't waste time. Some people said they felt bored and lost in retirement, and decided to come learn Japanese for lack of better things to do. I was shocked to hear this. Retirement is often glorified and the majority of us save up decades to look forward to these years of “freedom”, but if you don't have hobbies or other things you care about outside of work, sooner or later you'll be forced to face this emptiness.
Hang on to your dear friends. As an icebreaker, I’d ask people why they’re learning Japanese. One woman said, “I was very depressed when my husband passed away. My friend, who lives 5 hours away in a different country, suggested that we go study Japanese in Japan together. Eight years later, we’ve made this our annual ritual.” It was an important lesson about the value of showing up for the people we care about, no matter where they are.
It’s never too late to reinvent yourself. I met someone who had pivoted from academia into government, and later into founding his own digital marketing companies, some of which had successful exits. I asked him multiple times, “Why did you pivot?” He would always reply, “I couldn’t stand it.” That stuck with me, and his story is inspiration to lean into your intuition. Reinvention doesn’t need a grand reason.
Pace yourself. A retiree told me not to study Japanese too seriously until retirement, because “you don’t want to exhaust your hobbies before then.” Thanks for looking out for me, but I’ve got plenty of hobbies to last a lifetime. 😅
Ultimately, the biggest lesson wasn’t about language, it was about permission. It’s a reminder that sometimes you just need to give yourself space to explore.
Give yourself permission to pivot, to experiment, to want something different.
It’s the first step towards any meaningful change, whether it’s mastering a new language or redefining your entire life.
So, what small shift will you make today?